Yo' momma jokes...

SO UGLY

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals".
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it".
Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!
Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
Yo momma so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!
Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo momma so ugly she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it!
Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life.
Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo mamma is so poor that one day i saw her kicking a can down the street and when i asked her what she was doing she said: "i'm moving out!".

Yo mamma is so fat that, when she broke her leg, gravey pored out.

SO STUPID
Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterbacks a refund!
Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911
Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics".
Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo momma so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

Yo mooma is so ugly that even Alina couldn't find a saying for her.  :naughty:

Pollux, pe Jul 22 2005, 16:04, a scris:

In romaneste va rog?

Zazie, pe Jul 22 2005, 17:05, a scris:

Mă-ta e asa urâtă că nici Alina n-a putut sa gaseasca o vorba pentru ea.  :naughty:

in ruseste nu se poate?

brocko, pe Jul 22 2005, 17:54, a scris:

se poate dar nu vreu. :yes:

Maică-ta e atât de bătrână încât a fost chelneriță la Cina cea de Taină!

Pollux, pe Jul 22 2005, 16:55, a scris:

dar ceva in japoneza chineza... d'astea clasice

brocko, pe Jul 22 2005, 18:09, a scris:

de'astea nu stiu. intreaba-o pe toyo cred ca te poate ajuta.

Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

restul aici:

http://members.lycos...k/yomommajokes/

Bagati si voi ...

Astea-s din filmul "The last boyscout":

Yo mama is so fat that when i tryied to f..k her I had to roll her up in flour and find the wet spot.

I ain't saying Yo mama is fat... but her diploma picure was made from the satelite.

Yo mama is so fat that when you slap you can ride the waves.

:roflmao:  :roflmaofast:  :roflmao:  :roflmaofast:  :roflmao:

Pollux, pe Jul 22 2005, 18:02, a scris:

toyo de la toyota???

LIKE

un pic cam scarboase... :blush:

Yo momma like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay
Yo momma like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
Yo momma like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
Yo momma like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!
Yo momma like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
Yo momma like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!
Yo momma like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
Yo momma like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
Yo momma like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!
Yo momma like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
Yo momma like a shotgun: one cock and she blows!
Yo momma like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
Yo momma like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
Yo momma like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Yo momma like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
Yo momma like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
Yo momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
Yo momma like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
Yo momma like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
Yo momma like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
Yo momma like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Yo momma like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.

TEETH SO  YELLOW...

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles!

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, she spits butter!

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, I can't believe its not butter.

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on to her good side!

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo momma’s so fat, her drivers license says, ” Picture continued on other side.


The jokes on this forum are really funny.  I added some of my favorite yo momma jokes above.  I hope you guys enjoy.  Also you should check this new site, http://yomomma.tv/ – you can battle other people with your yo momma jokes and even tell them how whack their jokes are.

imi plac astea cu yo mama :D
atasez un programel care contine multe din astea
e 100% curat, enjoy