Glume cu musulmani

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 Teophileos, on 14 februarie 2013 - 15:57, said:

totdeauna am stiut ca esti un mare "intelept"

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Edited by ThinkAbout, 14 February 2013 - 17:03.

Stefan cel Mare,in lupta cu turcii.Stefan reuseste sa se ascunda.Turcii vin la poarta si striga:
-Mama lui Stefan Cel Mare! Mama lui Stefan Cel Mare!
La care Stefan din varful turnului:
- Paraciosilor! Paraciosilor!

Bancurile romanesti sunt cu turci, nu cu musulmani la modul general

Edited by rabelais, 14 February 2013 - 17:05.

si tot pentru ascary, pe care l-as sfatui sa nu mai ia glumele prea personal

Mohammed intra in clasa I, la scoala:
- Cum te numesti? intreaba invatatoarea.
- Mohammed... raspunde copilul.
- Aici suntem in Franta, nu exista Mohammed. De acum inainte numele tau va fi Jean-Francois, ii raspunde invatatoarea.
Seara, ajunge Mohammed acasa...
- Cum a fost prima zi de scoala, Mohammed? il intreba mama.
- Numele meu nu este Mohammed, suntem in Franta, iar numele meu, de acum inainte, este Jean-Francois.
- Aoleu, iti este rusine de numele tau, vrei sa iti faci de ras parintii, mostenirea ta, religia ta?
Sa iti fie rusine Mohammed!!! dupa care ii trage o mama de bataie.
Apoi mama il cheama pe sotul ei, pentru a-i trage si acesta o mama de bataie.
Merge a doua zi Mohammed la scoala. Cand il vede invatatoare cu atatea vanatai pe el, il intreaba:
- Ce ai patit micutul meu Jean-Francois?
- Ei bine, doamna invatatoare, la nici doua ore dupa ce am devenit francez am fost atacat de doi arabi!

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Trei popi, religii diferite. Primul, musulman, spune:
- Allah e cel mai puternic. Odata, in desert, o furtuna cumplita s-a abatut asupra caravanei. M-am rugat la Allah sa ne ajute si peste tot in jurul nostru era furtuna dar unde eream noi, nu. Si Allah ne-a salvat.

Al doilea, catolic, spune:
- Eram pe ocean si deodata s-a pornit o furtuna cumplita. L-am rugat pe Dumnezeu sa ne ajute si peste tot in jurul nostru era furtuna dar unde eram noi, nu. Si ne-a salvat.

Ortodoxul spune:
- Eram dupa slujba de dumineca. Am iesit afara din Biserica si o fata frumoasa ca un inger s-a apropiat de mine. Am intrat in vorba cu ea , am sarutat-o si cand sa facem sex mi-a spus ca nu se cade ca e Duminica. Atunci m-am rugat la Dumnezeu sa ma ajute si atunci, dintr-o data, peste tot in jurul meu era duminica si unde eram eu era luni. Deci Dumnezeul meu e cel mai puternic.

Edited by rabelais, 14 February 2013 - 17:13.

Un arab scutura un covor de la etajul 4. Un trecator il intreaba:
- Ce are, nu porneste?

Edited by nazdaq, 14 February 2013 - 17:16.

Ramadan.
Putting the slim back into Muslim.
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I've just seen the news about the US marines pissing on those Taliban lads. It's fucking disgusting.
Out of all four, I had thought that at least one of them would have needed a shit.
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BBC News: ''Bin Laden's wives are to spend the rest of their lives in hiding.''
In other words, they'll continue to wear their burqhas.
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French police have confirmed that the gunman's first name as Mohammed, and surname Merah.
I'm not a detective, but I could have figured out the first name myself.
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A fetish porn studio has invented a new genre, aimed specifically at Muslims.
It's called burqake.
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I've set up a demolition company and I discovered I don't have to pay my immigrant workers.
All I have to do is spray-paint "Mohammad likes anal sex" on the side of the building.
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A Muslim guy at work was telling me how beautiful his wife was, so I asked to see a picture. He pulled one out of his top pocket and said, "there you go".
I said, "But mate, that's only an ultrasound-scan."
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If the mountain won't come to Mohammed, then Mohammed must hijack a plane and fly it into the mountain.
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My racist dad was saying that Muslims don't make any effort to integrate into British culture so I pointed out that our Muslim neighbours have decorations out and are partying hard this Christmas Day.
Although it turned out that they were just celebrating the bombings in Nigeria.
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A young Muslim kid approached me at Tesco because he couldn't find his mom.
I asked, "What does your mother look like?"
The kid said, "How would I know?"

  

 echo3, on 14 februarie 2013 - 15:54, said:

kaboom?
neah...kakaboom.

Eu n-as glumi despre musulmani....
Chiar si cele mai simple bancuri ale musulmanilor vin la pachet cu......bombe.

 VladPaul74, on 14 februarie 2013 - 17:29, said:

avem thread de bancuri cu evrei, thread de glume cu crestini...
daca n-am fi deschis si threadul asta s-ar fi numit...discriminare. nuh?

Jurnalul unui taliban
Luni. Ma plictisesc. ..
Marti. Dimineata, baiatul vecinului mi-a omorat capra. Dupa-amiaza am pus mana pe nenorocit si l-am omorat.
Miercuri. Tatal baiatului a venit la mine sa ma intrebe de ce i-am omorat baiatul. L-am omorat pe talhar.
Joi. Fratii baiatului m-au intrebat ce am avut cu tatal si fratele lor. Am prins secaturile si le-am omorat.
Vineri. Nevasta vecinului si neamurile celor doi au venit la mine sa ma intrebe de ce le-am omorat rudele. I-am omorat pe nemernici.
Sambata. S-a adunat satul sa-mi ceara socoteala. I-am omorat pe ticalosi.
Duminica. M-am mutat in satul vecin.
Luni. Ma plictisesc...

Britons are also very upset after 9/11, since half of the country is related to the plane hijackers.
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I've been at a Muslim school all week trying to learn some of their traditions.
We've spent an awful lot of time throwing paper planes at walls!
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I'm very loyal towards the Muslim customers at my restaurant.
I only serve them halal pork.
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Going Christmas carolling in a Muslim neighbourhood is like explaining Judaism to Hitler.
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Wow baby, that burka really brings out your eyes.
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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Allah!
Allah who?
Allahu Akbar!

There were no survivors.
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Priests are warning that the physical embodyment of the Anti-Christ will bring war and devastation to our planet...does that mean the Anti-Mohammed will bring us universal peace and love?
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I wanted my new Muslim neighbour to feel at home in our street.
So I laid down some landmines between our houses.
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Some critics of Islam are advocating the use of pages from the Quran as toilet paper, but I find myself questioning the wisdom of wiping one's arse with bullshit.

Un arab statea la bar si bea o bere.
La un moment dat.. intra un tip si striga:
- Ahmed... nevasta-ta te inseala!
Arabul se face rosu la fatza... scoate cutitul si fuge catre casa.
Pe drum, este calcat de o masina. In ambulanta, in drum spre spital, incepe sa reflecteze: "Ar trebui sa ma calmez un pic.... intai si intai.... sunt burlac... in al doilea... nici nu ma cheama Ahmed"! !!

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 ThinkAbout, on 14 februarie 2013 - 16:42, said:

Altora li s-a dat

 abbulafia, on 14 februarie 2013 - 18:15, said:

Stapaneste-ti sanatoasa ipocrizia abundenta si fii fara frica
nu ravneste nimeni la titlul tau de miss ipocrita.