Bancuri cu fotografi

Incerc sa va aduc un zimbet:

La un fotograf au venit mai multi chinezi pentru a se fotografia.
Fotograful se gandi: 'De ce sa-i mai fotografiez, daca seamana leit unul cu altul? O sa le dau aceeasi fotografie!'.
Cand primesc fotografiile, un chinez ia fotografia, se uita lung la ea si spune:
- Nu e fotografia mea.
- Cum nu e a ta? - intreaba fotograful - Nu e fatza ta?
- Fatza e a mea, dar camasa nu.

Un matematician intra in magazinul foto si zice:

- As dori sa-mi developati filmele din concediu.

- 9x13 intreaba fotograful?

- 117, dar de ce ma intrebati?

Scuze ca-s in engleza, n-am timp sa le traduc...





There were these two sisters Luella and Rose. They were going to get a picture taken of themselves as they just got their checks.
They go to the studio and after the photographer fools with the camera he tells Rose to sit quietly because he had to focus.

  Well, Luella being out of hearing says, "Huh?"

  Rose says, "Be still girl he's gonna focus!"

  Luella looks and says, "Both of us?"

======================================================

A photographer from a well known national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze.
  When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him.
  He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!'' The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.
  The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three  low passes so I can take some pictures."
  "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I am a photographer," he responded, "and photographers take photographs."
  The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

======================================================

One day I was working in the darkroom with my girlfriend. Things started out negative but soon I was enlarging. As it started to develop, I told her we should stop before we got into a fix, but  she said it would all come out in the wash.
  The Black & White photo process summarized... why, what were you thinking?

======================================================

A journalist photographer was caught out in a rain shower when he saw a dark gloomy house. While he was drying off in the house he heard scary sounds and saw a ghost coming towards him. He grabbed his camera to take pictures. The ghost asked him what he was doing, he said "I just want to take your picture for the newspaper." The ghost was glad for the exposure and posed for the photographer. When his film was all done he thanked the ghost and rushed to his office to get the film developed. When he saw the results he was terribly dissapointed that they all came out black - they were all underexposed. The moral of the story is: The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.

======================================================

Snow White is a passionate photographer and she sings:
"Some day my prints will come....."

Edited by glumetu, 23 June 2009 - 12:26.

Foarte tare    Am ras cu lacrimi  

Nu e un banc dar cred ca se incadreaza aici. Uite ce scrie pe situl f64 la comentarii obiectiv nikkor 50mm f1.8:

Comentariu:
"este un obiectiv superb !!!! nu am ce sa comentez la ea. ce poze am facut cu ea? uitati aici www.livekiss.tk sper ca calitatea imaginilor sa vorbeasca despre acest obiectiv. o folosesc pe un d60."

link

Edited by misu_d, 24 October 2009 - 22:09.

da, amuzant dar scuzabil avand in vedere ca tipul e ungur. am stat in camera in anul 1 de fac. cu un ungur mortal. nu putea pronunta cuvantul paine, si nici mare lucru din limba romana in afara de asta. a venit sora-mea pe la mine si s-a bagat in pat pentru ca era obosita. el a venit, s-a asezat pe picioarele ei, s-a uitat gales la ea si a intrebat-o: sunt grea ?

misu_d, on 24th October 2009, 22:59, said:

Asa e, nu e banc. Nu-i frumos sa facem misto de unguri. Dar citatul mi-a amintit de bancul:
"- Gyury, spune, te rog, o propozitie!
- Duminica me duc la pedure.
- Gyury draga, da nu-i bine.
- Atunci nu me duc."

Nu faceam misto de unguri dar traim in Romania si macar pronumele personal ar trebui sa stim sa-l folosim (si cacofonia sa nu).  

Glumele oarecum anti-nationaliste au samburele lor de rautate, insa cred ca se poate pastra putina voie buna si toleranta. In fond sunt glume.
Vin si eu cu una:

Cine a inventat cantecul "O brad frumos"? - Evident un ungur; corect este "Un brad frumos"

bogdancoltea, on 25th October 2009, 01:42, said:

Ca tot s-a deviat de la bancurile cu fotografi revin eu cu unul, sunt zigur ca era un fotograf ungur. Fara nici o urma de rautate, cunosc unguri,... jos palaria!

Un ungur intr-un bar, catre chelnerita:
-UN bere, ve rog frumos!
Ii aduce chelnerita berea si ii spune:
-Se zice O bere.
Termina de baut berea, iar catre chelnerita:
-UN bere, ve rog frumos!
Enervata chelnerita ii spune:
- Uite aici berea, dar daca mai spui o data UN bere, te dam afara si iti dam si o mama de bataie.
Bea berea ungurul destul de abatut bupa ultima replica a chelneritei, dupa un timp isi ia inima in dinti si zice catre chelnerita:
-Bere, ve rog frumos!
-Cate beri? zice chelnerita.
-O

Edited by alexis4tm, 11 November 2009 - 14:48.

Adobe a hotarat ca verisunile de Photoshop distribuite in Romania nu vor mai salva fisierele in format .psd ci in format .pdl

Semper Pri, on 9th December 2009, 17:24, said:

Si mai buna e aia din semnatura ta actuala

Si daca fotograf = ungur, am si au en coleg din 'Odorheiu 'Secuiesc, casatorit cu, evident, o odorheianca.

Sotia lui stie destul de bine romaneste - a terminat contabilitate la Timisoara (in romana). Eram intr-o excursie. La intoarcere ii povesteste pe nerasuflate:

"...am simtit cum calculatorul incepe sa miroase. Ce sa fie, ce sa fie? Si la un moment dat mi-am dat seama: s-a ars sursul!"

Edited by DSops, 09 December 2009 - 18:06.

Fotograf ? Cine e, cum il cheama ?

(si eu tot din odorhei sunt)

M-am gandit ca n-ar fi rau sa mai zambim nitel ...
....

Costel face poze pe malul lacului.
La un moment dat, nevasta-sa il striga disperata:
- Costeleee, vino repede ca se ineaca mama !
- Nu poooot, ca mi s-a terminat cardul !

...

Un vanator si-a invitat prietenii sa le arate colectia sa de animale impaiate.
- Uitati, aici este leul pe care l-am impuscat in Africa . Langa el, o veverita, iar acolo in spate este soacra-mea.
- Dar ce zambitoare este! remarca unul dintre musafiri.
- Da, pentru ca pusca avea luneta si pana-n ultima clipa a crezut ca vreau sa o fotografiez.

...

Who's next ?

Scuze moderatorilor, cred ca am gresit topicul.

Edited by phidias, 21 December 2009 - 20:29.

Simpatice !  

Exista totusi un thread existent aici.

...care și există  

Din graba vitezei, am contibuit eu insumi, vanghelic, la sporirea bancurilor cu fotografi, ma rog, fotografii care este si care n-ar fi rau daca intr-o zi as fi, exista, vreau sa zic. Daca noi nu punem umarul...