Bancuri cu fotografi

Nu stiu daca il stiti, eu am dat peste el de curand. E foarte lung, asa ca l-am lasat in engleza.


The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to......."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in..
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith...

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly?

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh ! my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief...

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed! on your um...equipment ?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.

Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!!

  - Tare !

Uite unul cam expirat, dar poate-or fi 1-2 persoane care nu-l stiu :

Intr-un sat din Ardeal, un fotograf nou, cam färä experientä... Incadra aiurea pozele, si de cele mai multe ori oamenilor nu li se vedeau ochii.
Vin douä unguroaice - mama si fiica.
- Bune ziua, domnu foto. Venit noi la dumnevostre se foteti la noi. Acuma, pè mine foteti in fund, si pe fata in píciore. Da' stiti ce rughem la dumneavostre, domnu foto? Foteti la noi ase de sa ne iese ochii!

Edited by krossfire, 15 August 2006 - 16:45.

oare daca postati bancurile astea in sectiunea de bancuri isi pierdeau din farmec?  

Nu isi pierdeau din farmec, dar trebuie sa populam si aria fun a sectiunii foto.  

Poti sa il iei cu CTRL C CTRL V si sa il pui si acolo.

Da, deci bancurile sunt mortale, amandoua!!! Super-tari! N-am mai ras asa la un banc de nush cand. Mai postati, va rog, am nevoie de cantitati uriase de ras!

eu ma amuz si mai tare ca sunt doar 2bancuri cu fotografi...

What the Duck

Da stiu, fotografii nu se bucura de acelasi numar de bancuri ca si politistii. Este foarte trist.  

Kunzite, on Dec 5 2006, 15:09, said:

Cat de misto. Am vazut ca au tricouri cu "Chimpin' ain't easy"   Cat de tare.

Elevii unei clase au fost fotografiati, iar diriginta lor incerca sa-i convinga sa cumpere pozele:
- Ganditi-va, copii, ce dragut va fi atunci cand veti fi mari si va veti uita la fotografii spunand "Uite-o pe Oana - acum e avocat" sau "Uite-l pe Mihai - acum e doctor"...
Din clasa se aude o voce:
- Uite-o pe diriga - acum e moarta!

Good one.

Ma mir ca lipseste piesa de rezistenta - www.kenrockwell.com  

Kunzite, ala daca nu e banc, o gluma e clar

prea tare ala cu diriga.....)

Banc din viata reala:

Un Nikonist se duce sa isi cumpere Fornetti:
- Cu mac aveti ?
- da. de cat sa fie ?
- D70...ba nu, D80... ba D70...

Un tip fotograf pleaca in delegatie. Banuind ca nevasta-sa calca stramb, pune niste camere ascunse prin casa. cand se intoarce, gaseste o gramada de "minunatii" fotografiate, nevasta-sa cu cel mai bun prieten al lui. Superofticat, se duce la asta:
- Bai, Gigele, ia uite si tu ce am aici. UITE BA!!!! Eeee, acuma zii tu ce sa-ti fac?
- Pai, pe astea fa-mi-le 10/15, iar pe astea doua fa-le 13/18, ca am iesit mai bine.

Edited by Rover, 02 February 2007 - 13:24.

Ultimile doua bancuri au fost dementiale.  

Cateva bancuri pentru voi  

1.) Bula era la un curs de parasutism.
-Daca nu se deschide parasuta ce facem?intreba Bula?
-Apasati butonul galben.
-Si daca nici ala nu se dechide ce facem?
-Apasati butonul rosu.
-Si daca nici ala nu se dechide?
-Nu are cum.
A doua zi, parasutisti sar dupe ce termina exercitiul ii asteapta un autobuz. Lui Bula nu i se dechide nici un buton:
-Ei ar fi culmea sa nu ma stepte nici autobuzul.

2.) Stefan cel Mare avea o batalie cu turcii. Il cheama pe subalternu' lui si-l intreaba :
- Cati sunt ma ei ?
- 3 000.
- Aaa ! Adu-mi haina rosie sa nu ma murdaresc de sange.
Alta batalie cu turcii. Stefan intreaba :
- Cati sunt ei ?
- 5 000
- Aaa! Adu-mi haina rosie...
Ultima batalie... Stefan intreaba pe subaltern :
-Cati sunt ma ei ?
- 7 000
- Ups! Adu-mi pantalonii aia maro...

Daca le stiti... nu aruncati cu rosii

Si unde s fotografii ? Bancurile astea le pui la FUN ca acolo e rubrica pentru bancuri .